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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757592">Nights and days</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlicityIBelieve/pseuds/OlicityIBelieve'>OlicityIBelieve</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Good Doctor (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, Series of One Shots, Smut, and more - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:07:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,175</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757592</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlicityIBelieve/pseuds/OlicityIBelieve</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of one shots solely focusing on what Claire and Melendez's future could have been together.<br/>From fluff to smut. Not in any particular order. </p><p>Chapter 1 &amp; 2- Claire and Neil are reunited after two weeks apart. Fluff. (Rated E)<br/>NEW! Chapter 3 - 5 + 1 fanfic : 5 times Neil watched Claire sleep + 1 time she did (Rated T)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claire Browne/Neil Melendez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I missed you 1/2 (E)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neil’s presence was intoxicating. In the most delicious way. Claire could almost feel the warmth of his body radiating from him, their chairs so close to each other. She could imagine the taste of his skin on her lips. The feel of it under her fingers. She forced herself not to focus too much on his laugh and how it reverberated through her entire body. And certain areas of her body in particular. Especially if she crossed her legs a little bit more.<br/>
She knew she had to behave. A deal was a deal. No mixing their work life and love life. Never easy but part of their relationship. Complicated, yet rewarding. On so many levels. She bit her lower lip thinking about the “rewards” he was so generous with. The wine was getting to her head. There was no other explanation. </p><p>Claire smiled as hearty laughter rose from their table. Everyone looked so free and happy. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, they were all back together. Dr Lim, Dr Andrew, Dr Glassman, Shaun, Alex, Morgan and the two of them. Enjoying something as simple as a nice dinner in a restaurant. Together. No earthquake. No surgery. No tears.<br/>
Only the pleasure of celebrating life with good people, amazing food and even better wine.<br/>
Neil continued the story he was sharing with the table, not noticing Claire’s lack of focus. She had lost track of his tale, more focused on his physical presence than his words. She had issues focusing on anything other than the intensity of her love for him when she was seeing him so alive, laughing, absorbed in the moment. So different from the mentor he was to them at the hospital but yet so similar. </p><p>They had arrived at the restaurant separately, as discussed, for appearances’ sake. Audrey was aware of their relationship as she had decided that, considering the hardship they faced a few months ago, Neil and Claire were allowed to continue their relationship. In the most private manner and under the stricter professional scrutiny of their chief of surgery. No display of affection at work. No mention of any relationship in front of the medical staff until Claire reached the end of her residency. Claire had been named Chief Resident at the end of her third year and had been placed under Dr Lim’s mentorship, allowing Neil and Claire a better separation between the two aspects of their lives.</p><p>Neil and Claire had been separated for more than two weeks. They had shared different shifts the previous week, barely seeing each other and Neil had to attend a medical conference on the East Coast that week. Claire on her side had been swamped as the new interns and residents were being enrolled, the new generation hers to look after. So rewarding but so draining. Exhaustion had vanished though when Claire had realized Neil had kept an empty chair by his side for her. A small victory after a hard week. As soon as Claire had slid into her seat, their knees had bumped and their hands had found each other under the table. A strong squeeze to translate how much they missed each other. Claire could sense the humming in her body, the excitement running through her veins, the utter satisfaction of the moment the best remedy for tiredness. </p><p>Neil brought his glass of wine to his lips as Glassman started sharing his own story, captivating everyone’s attention. Claire followed Neil’s motion, her eyes carefully following the movement of his lips around the glass, the shift of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed the dark liquid. Neil turned ever so slightly to her, careful not to attract the attention on them. They shared a glance, enough to send Claire’s blood boiling, waking up desire in her core. He was such a beautiful man. The suit he wore was one of her favorites, the light grey the perfect color against his complexion, the fabric cut so very perfectly to reveal his arms. How much she loved those. Being in them. Falling asleep in them. Grasping them when she was at the very edge of her orgasm.<br/>
Claire shifted on her seat, struggling to keep her desire and her thoughts at bay. They hadn’t shared a night together in almost two weeks and she was dying to feel him against her. However, this was neither the time nor the place. She should be embarrassed to feel like this. Like a horny teenager. And yet. When she felt Neil hand diving once again under the table, his thumb soon rubbing against the inside of her thigh, hidden by the blessing of the table cloth, Claire knew she wasn’t the only one to be craving their connection. </p><p>~</p><p>Neil shifted his attention towards Aaron, a wicked smile on his face. However, the smile that appeared on Neil’s lips had nothing to do with the hilarious anecdote the neurosurgeon was sharing. Claire had opened her legs ever so slightly, leaving him free access to her legs and more. Never too suggestive. Always so classy and contained. And he so knew how to make her melt to free the passionate woman she was in his bed. He loved this woman so much. He owed her his life and for that only, she could have his entire self worshiping her body until the end of times. Neil’s hand went slowly up Claire’s thigh, tracing invisible patterns on her hot and smooth skin, stopping his ascension when he felt the lace of her underwear. He took note to thank Claire for her choice of a flowy dress tonight. Very pragmatic. Another addition to her endless list of her qualities.<br/>
His hand rested there. Not moving. Not giving her any of the pleasure she was seeking. He had to admit it was a bit evil of him but he truly loved driving her crazy for more. Neil dared looking in her direction. She was the very definition of composure. Her attention was aimed at the neurologist but her eyes betrayed her. She was somewhere else, deep in her thoughts. If it was any indication of where Claire’s mind was wandering, she was biting the inside of her lip. Neil’s pinky slowly caressed her inner core through the fabric of her underwear. Barely a brush. A silent invitation for what was to come later on that night. When Claire’s breathing stopped for a second, Neil knew they were in for a very exhaustive night. </p><p>~ </p><p>The dinner went on for another hour or so. Neil and Claire had continued chatting away with their colleagues, truly enjoying themselves. They had made an extra effort to limit their interaction with each other, not trusting themselves to stick to their professional personas. They were walking on very very thin ice.<br/>
The doctors ended up outside, waiting for their taxis and Ubers. Claire’s ride arrived first. She hugged all of her colleagues tightly, overjoyed by her evening so far. She loved these people so much. She, more often than not, wanted to strangle them but her attachment to her team was so much stronger. She hugged Neil last, lingering two or three seconds too long. Neither of them missed that spark when their bodies found their way to one another. </p><p>“My place” Neil whispered in her ear before they broke apart. </p><p>“Goodnight everyone!” Claire shouted to the small crowd as she waved her way in her car. </p><p>“My god, you guys are too much.” Audrey quietly laughed at Neil as she bumped into his shoulder. “I could almost believe there’s nothing between you two.” She teased again, trying not to laugh too loudly and remain discreet.</p><p>“Almost.” A smiling Neil winked at her heading towards his own cab. </p><p>~</p><p>Claire was pouring herself a glass of wine in Neil’s kitchen when she heard the front door. In a matter of seconds, Neil was behind her, his arms encircling her waist, his body molded into hers, his mouth already attacking her neck, this soft spot that he knew would send a wave of desire through her. He felt her pulse accelerate, proving him right.</p><p>“I missed you so much” he purred before tilting her head to kiss her. </p><p>Finally. His lips met hers with avidity. He felt more than she heard Claire moan against his lips, her tongue seeking his. He indulged her, deepening the kiss as Claire leaned in against him even more. Her hand reached the back of his head, bringing him always closer to her. They spent long moments kissing each other, slowly but intensely, enjoying their first moments together in what felt like forever. She seemed to be craving the feel of him as much as he was if her grip on his bicep was any indication. Neil’s hand responded by gripping her thigh, his hand sliding under the fabric of her dress, spreading her legs. Claire pushed her hips back instinctively, seeking more friction. Gosh, he was already hard for her. Neil responded to her silent request slowly grinding his hardness against her. Claire broke their kiss, leaned against his shoulder and when she looked at him, her eyes half hooded by desire, Neil felt himself twitched against her. He moved his hand under her panties, finally allowing her the pleasure he had teased her with at the restaurant. He found her hot and wet already, pliable under his fingers. Claire started rocking against his fingers, never breaking eye contact with him. Could he come just from the look she was giving him? Probably. He slid one finger in her hot core, both of them closing their eyes for a moment under the sensation of pure delight binding them together. </p><p>“Neil” Claire let out, her voice choked up by her desire. “Neil…”</p><p>“I know, baby” he answered, adding another finger to give her more. Always more. She deserved so much. His touch was gentle, aware that she required time to accommodate it. Yet he gave her the exact pressure she needed to bring her closer to what she wanted most. Sensing Claire relaxing fully in his arms, her head now fully leaned back against his shoulder, Neil braced himself against the counter with his free hand. Claire’s hand reached his own on the granite and intertwined their fingers. He continued working her up steadily, listening to the rhythm of her hips, until her knuckles turned white and her pants were a soft melody in his ears. </p><p>“I’m gonna…” she tried to articulate, her head bucking from side to side. “Neil, please…”</p><p>Neil obeyed by accelerating his pace and angled his palm slightly to give Claire as much pressure as she needed to come in his arms. He reached for her mouth and kissed her passionately, muffling Claire’s moans with his mouth. Instinctively, her hips followed his rhythm and in a matter of seconds, she broke their kiss as a powerful orgasm flowed through her, the waves of pleasure never ending as Neil helped her ride every one of them. His name was on her lips and Neil watched her face soften under the effect of pleasure. When her knees threatened to give up on her, Neil removed his fingers very gently from her core, wrapped his arm across her stomach and kissed her forehead very softly.</p><p>Claire opened her eyes and looked at him intensely.</p><p>“I missed you too.” She whispered in a deep voice before taking his hand and heading towards the bedroom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I missed you too 2/2 (Rated E)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chapter 2 - I missed you too 2/2<br/>For Claire and Neil, the night is far from being over (Rated E).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Claire walked towards Neil’s bedroom, grateful for her legs to support her. Her core was still throbbing from the intensity of the orgasm Neil had just blessed her with. She was so sensitive that the simple pressure of Neil's hand in hers was driving her brain on overload. So gifted with his hands.</p>
<p>They barely made it to the bedroom that Neil slammed his mouth on hers. Two weeks apart would do that. His lips were hungry for her, his tongue demanding. He slid a hand behind her head and deepened the kiss, waking her desire again. The pressure of his fingers on her skull felt so sensual that Claire couldn’t refrain a loud moan, breaking the kiss. Neil took the opportunity to leave wet, sloppy kisses along her jaw, her neck, sucking at that point he made extra sensitive a few minutes ago. </p>
<p>She would never have enough of this beautiful man. She needed more. In a battle of hands and limbs, Claire began unbuttoning his shirt, revealing that tattoo she loved so much. She broke the intensity of their embrace for a moment, pushing the sides of his shirt deliberately slowly. She dragged her fingers from the back of his neck, applying enough pressure for Neil to tilt his head back to savor the feeling, towards the front, her fingers lingering on the antlers. Claire unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, keeping the pace contained, taking her sweet time to see her lover’s chest revealed to her. Always her favorite treat. Almost she thought, remembering the last minutes in the kitchen. She pushed his shirt down, letting it fall on the floor. Her eyes found their way up his body, first his abs, then his chest, his tattoo. His mouth. And his eyes. The look he gave her sent a spark of desire straight to her core. He was so still, his own desire straining against his resolution to let her explore his body. </p>
<p>Claire’s hands followed the pattern her eyes had just followed, a light touch sending goosebumps all over his body. She took a bit more time to caress his abdominal scar. The physical evidence of both her biggest fear and her biggest happiness. When she reached his chest, his breathing was labored. She rose on her toes and softly kissed his tattoo, detecting his erratic heart rate under her lips and his breathing stopping for a half-second.</p>
<p>She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the feel of him. <br/>“I love you, Neil,” she said, her voice hoarse and full of emotions. </p>
<p>Claire blinked and Neil’s mouth was on hers against. She felt his hands reached for her ass and yelped when he lifted her off the floor. Her legs automatically wrapped around his hips as laughter bubbled up from her throat. His laughter echoed hers when he let both of them drop on the mattress, bouncing back from the impact. Claire opened her legs to welcome him in between them. She needed so much more right now and if Neil’s reaction was any indication, he needed equally as much. His fingers rummaged under Claire’s dress, trying to push the fabric aside. Very unsuccessfully, which made Claire laugh even louder. <br/>Neil pushed away from her, got off the bed, fakely annoyed, a sly smile plastered on his face. </p>
<p>“You know, I thought this dress was an excellent idea at the restaurant. I may have been wrong” </p>
<p>He looked at Claire when unbuckling his belt, out of her reach. Claire’s laugh was gone, replaced by intense attention to his every move. He absolutely knew what he was doing and how hungry she was for him. Neil took his pants and socks off, his eyes still solely focused on Claire’s. When he finally was left in nothing but his boxers, he grabbed her quickly by the hips and pulled her at the very edge of the bed. Neil kneeled, both his hands moving under the dress to pull Claire’s underwear off in a swift movement. His smugness turned into a softness that only she was allowed to see. </p>
<p>There was no need for more teasing for any of them so when his mouth found her mound, Claire let a victory moan erupt from her lips. Her hand reached for his hair, echoed by his hum of approval against her flesh. She was hot, swollen, and wet from her orgasm but also sensitive. Neil knew her body like he knew his own, recognizing what she needed, letting her guide him. He was always so patient, so generous with her. Every flick of his tongue sent ripples of pleasure through her, building her up towards a second orgasm, slowly, steadily. Claire could barely keep her brain working. Her hips kept grinding back against his face, looking for more. She needed him. All of him. She tugged on his hair to bring Neil back to her. Neil kissed her core one more time before moving back. He helped Claire to get out of her dress and bra, threw them both behind him before removing his boxers. Claire’s mouth went dry at the sight of him, the craving of him pulling deep in her. Neil then moved back between her legs but hovered a few inches from her, teasing her. </p>
<p>Claire could feel his breath against her lips. So close to her. She needed that kiss so badly. She needed to feel his skin on hers. Him in her. </p>
<p>“Who’s laughing now?” he teased her, never quite kissing her. Only grazing her mouth before pulling away when Claire reached for more. </p>
<p>“Not me,” Claire answered as she reached for his erection, taking his full length in her hand. <br/>She watched him close his eyes as she took her time to slowly palm him. He was hard and throbbing under her fingers. Ready for her the way she was for him. Neil crashed against her, their mouths a battle for dominance in the battle of pleasing one another. The weight of his chest against her breasts provided them with the friction she needed. Her fingers kept on stroking him, up and down, the pressure building up until he broke the kiss. Neil’s hand flew to her breast, cupping it, teasing her nipple until it turned hard under his fingers. </p>
<p>“You’re gonna have to stop this or else…”<br/>“Or else?” Claire asks innocently.</p>
<p>Neil’s hand left Claire’s breast, grabbed her wrist to pin it away over her head. He entered her in a swift move, making them both gasp under the delicious sensation. Claire’s face was pure ecstasy, mirroring Neil’s. Neil was filling her so completely, the stretch delicious, the feeling of their union so overwhelming. </p>
<p>“I love you” Neil whispered, before bracing himself on his forearms and rocking against Claire. </p>
<p>Claire’s hands explored the muscles of his back, every one of them flexing under her nails. Every time she touched a more sensitive spot, Neil twitched and buried himself even deeper in her, drowning the resident in pleasure. Claire’s release was building quickly and Neil seemed to be already on the verge of losing it. How had they made it two weeks without each other? How could they not make it two weeks without each other? Claire had never experienced something like this. Neil buried his face in her neck, freezing for a moment. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, struggling to contain his desire. </p>
<p>“What are you doing to me?” He muffled against her skin, before peppering it with kisses. </p>
<p>Claire chuckled but her laughter turned into a moan when he moved them both to a seated position, never leaving the heat of her core. Gosh, he was so impossibly deep in her, the stretch divine. She grabbed his face, now at her level and kissed him passionately. Neil’s hips pushed forward, upping the pace as Claire’s hips responded to his thrusts. The surgeon’s hands grabbed her bottom and pulled her even closer to him. Claire wrapped her arms around Neil for support and let her head drop on his shoulder. Pleasure pulsed through her veins, washing everything away as a mindblowing orgasm exploded in her, triggering Neil’s release, her name on his lips. Neil and Claire rode every wave of pleasure together, slowing down to savor every one of them until nothing was left but utter satisfaction and exhaustion. Breathing heavily, Claire lifted her head, her eyes half hooded, her hair a terrible sexy mess, and a smile on her face. Her lips met Neil’s for a lazy kiss, neither of them willing to break the magic just yet. They had craved their connection for days, missing the presence of one another, adding to the difficulty of their jobs.</p>
<p>Truth be told, the weekend ahead of them would not be providing them with any rest. And none of them would complain about it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Of Dreams and Nightmares (Rated T)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>5 + 1 fic : 5 times Neil watches Claire sleep and one time she watches him. Fluff, Angst and happy ending!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I.</p><p>Neil still felt weak and groggy. In the morning, he had awoken in his room, tube in his throat, weak, in pain. But alive. So alive. They had taken desperate measures. It had paid off. A small miracle, even if Claire had refused to say the word. He had barely had time to see her before they had wheeled him from test to test. He had fallen back asleep a few times, fighting to see more of her face but darkness had soon surrounded him. A soothing, soft darkness. The one he knew he would awake from. And here he was, awake in the middle of the night, in a mainly silent hospital wing.</p><p>Neil’s neck was stiff and his scar was itchy beyond measure but he didn’t dare move and make a noise, afraid to wake Claire up. The view he had of his favorite resident was worth it. She was curled up on the armchair by the window, a thin hospital blanket half covering her. Her head had bobbed to the side during her sleep. If his own neck was painful, he couldn’t even imagine how excruciating hers would be when she’d wake up. Her lips were slightly ajar and her regular breathing was the nicest sound to his ears. She looked awfully exhausted, her skin colorless but for the dark circles under her eyes. Neil felt a pang of guilt when he realized the maddening pace she may have kept to care for him as well as for her other patients. Discarded at her feet was enough paperwork to keep her busy for weeks.</p><p>If he couldn’t wait for her to wake up, Neil was slightly anxious for what was to come. She had declared her love for him and so did he. He had no idea where this would bring them, if any of these feelings could actually become a reality, a tangible relationship between them two. If he was honest with himself, the relationship was already there. They had only tried to hide from it, both knowing the challenges they would have to face.</p><p>Now, they would have all the time in the world to figure it out. One day at a time. One night at a time. With this comforting thought, Neil let himself fall back asleep, dreaming of what it would feel like to fall asleep by her side.</p><p>~</p><p>II.</p><p>Neil woke up to the feel of a warm, very warm, body by his side. That was a sensation they had both craved in the past few weeks but Neil was finally able to enjoy it for the first time. He smiled as he made a conscious effort to capture every single detail of this moment to cherish it forever. Claire was fast asleep in his arms, the duvet covering only her bottom half, revealing her naked back, her arm thrown over his stomach in a rather possessive manner. Her breathing was tickling the crook of his neck but the feeling of her skin on his was pure delight. She was warm and soft, her face fully relaxed. She looked so much younger and at peace, free from all the hardships she had to face for the last few years.</p><p>Neil couldn’t quite believe how fortunate he was to be loved by Claire. He had spent weeks working on an active recovery, defying the doctor’s orders and pushing to get better as fast as he could. His relationship with Claire had been strained by how stubborn and proud he had been. He didn’t make her life easy and he was so sorry about it now. He hadn’t wanted their relationship to begin with her nursing him back to health. He had felt sick for weeks and the frustration of his health situation had taken its toll on his mood. Not willing to appear weak and incapacitated, he had tried unsuccessfully to push Claire away. He knew the depth of her heart and the power of her empathy. It had taken a bit of time for Neil to accept the fact that he was indeed a patient and that Claire was only trying to help. Not only out of professionalism but, above all, out of love.</p><p>She had stuck with him all the way, staying professional at the hospital, being his confidant in the privacy of his home. They had built a stronger relationship for the last few weeks, keeping it mostly platonic. They had discussed for hours, getting to learn about each other in a way they had never had the opportunity in the past. Childhood, heartbreaks, family drama, career decisions, they had covered it all during the long evenings of his convalescence.</p><p>And then, what was bound to happen happened as soon as Neil felt like himself again, both physically and psychologically. They had let the walls down and moved their relationship to the next level. What a level that had been. Neil smiled and kissed the top’s of Claire’s head as last night’s events flashed back in his mind. Their first time had been frantic, weeks in the making and too much for them to take it slow. It had been an explosion of passion after so long keeping it at bay. It had been a bit messy, far from all the scenarios he had imagined in his head where he would have taken his time to cherish her body for hours. No. It had been passionate, intense and so satisfying. Perfect. Just like her.</p><p>Neil felt Claire move closer to him, kissing his neck. Her fingers found his face and stroked his cheek before falling to the side. Neil chuckled when he realized she was still asleep. A wicked smile on his face, Neil cautiously moved Claire on her back, trying not to wake her up. She groaned slightly but remained asleep. Good. Now was the time to cherish her body. And Neil knew the perfect way to wake her up as he disappeared under the duvet.</p><p>~</p><p>III.</p><p>“Red or white?” Neil shouted from the kitchen, looking at the bottles laying down in his cellar.</p><p>“It’s been a day. Red, please!” he heard Claire answer from the living room.</p><p>As Neil poured himself and Claire a glass of wine, he realized that, for the first time in a very long while, he felt at peace with himself. His body was recovering nicely from his surgery. He felt stronger every day, strong to the point where he would resume his position as cardiothoracic surgeon and head of the surgical residency program in a few days. Grateful to be alive, grateful to be coming back to work.</p><p>But, above all, grateful for the woman who was currently sitting on his couch, every soft surface around her covered by her paperwork. Training schedule, training content, candidate profiles for the intern upcoming program, OR schedule, surgery content. Neil usually enjoyed a very tidy living space but as Claire was now spending a lot more time at his, he was more inclined to accept the mountain of paperwork that seemed to be an inherent part of her these days. He absolutely loved spending more time with Claire but since she had been named Chief Resident, her workload has increased significantly. If he wanted any time at all with her, he had to put up with a few hours of work from home. And a lot of mess.</p><p>He selfishly knew that their days enjoying a simple domesticity were counted. He wasn’t back at work yet, she had her own schedule. They were enjoying work lives apart, Claire at the hospital, Neil working from home on publications he had postponed for months. They would meet at night (or in the middle of the day, depending on Claire’s shift) and shared their respective days, happy to seek the advice and approval from their loved one. They would also share more than words. Neil’s hunger for Claire was never satisfied. He couldn’t get enough of her exhilarating presence, her tempting skin, her sinful mouth, her crystalline laughter, her soothing warmth, her comforting embrace. He had experienced happiness before. Being with Claire brought the definition to a whole other level.</p><p>This very balance could and would be challenged in the coming days. With Neil heading back to work and having Claire technically under his supervision, things were bound to get more complicated. Both of them would need more time apart but none of them were quite ready for this change. They had discussed it for many hours, trying to reassure themselves and each other that they could do this and preserve their couple. Neil was constantly scared that he was about to ruin Claire’s career. He was a very well established, successful surgeon. Claire had everything to prove, especially as a woman, no matter how brilliant she was. He knew he shouldn’t be so protective of her but he couldn’t help it. She had a brilliant career in front of her and the last thing he wanted was to be in her way.</p><p>Neil finished pouring their glasses of wine after several minutes lost in his thoughts.</p><p>“Claire, you like the pinot noir best, right?” he asked as he made his way back to the living room.</p><p>He stopped by the coffee table, slowly laying the glasses on the coasters, before crouching down in front of the couch. He smiled and shook his head.</p><p>Claire had fallen asleep on the couch, notebook in one hand, pen in the other. She had made the fatal mistake to curl up against the soft arm of the couch and she had been vanquished by sleep. Neil took the notebook and the pen from her and grabbed her favorite blanket before covering her. He placed a very soft kiss on her forehead before sitting down on the armchair.</p><p>A glass of wine in his hand, her unfinished schedule in the other, he took a sip of the beautiful red liquid before eyeing her notes. She needed sleep and surely, organizing the residents and interns’ schedules couldn’t be that hard, Neil thought.</p><p>Several hours and a light headache later, Neil’s admiration for Claire had dramatically increased.</p><p>~<br/>
IV.</p><p>Neil’s heart broke every time Claire’s body shook under the violence of her sobs. She was holding on to him like he was the only thing keeping her afloat. Neil whispered soft words of comfort, stroking her hair again and again, trying to appease her by his presence. He was aware that nothing could really tame the flow of her tears and that the best thing to do was to be there for Claire until the well of her pain had emptied out.</p><p>Neil had never really seen Claire break down like this. Even when her mum had passed, she had kept her composure, strong under the ache of her loss. She had opened to him but never had she let the pain slice through her the way it was today. During the long weeks of his own convalescence, she had remained his rock, the constant positive force that had driven him towards a full recovery.</p><p>He knew very little about the reason for her current state. He had received a call from Audrey, asking him to drive Claire home after she had lost a patient. A very young patient, it seemed. He had found Claire in the lockers, catatonic. She hadn’t spoken a word when he had taken her hand, guiding her to his car, on his way back home.</p><p>When he had come back in the living room with a steaming cup of tea, Neil had found Claire sitting down on the floor, silently crying. As soon as Neil had taken her into his arms, Claire’s tears had turned into violent sobs, her body shaken by the force of her grief.</p><p>Neil quickly understood that there was more to this breakdown than met the eye. Claire had faced too much for the last two years. The loss of her mum, the pressure from work, the exhaustive journey of therapy, his own recovery. This was bound to happen.<br/>
Neil was relieved Claire could finally let all this heartache out, in a safe environment. He was so glad he was able to be there for her in this moment, the way she had been there for him for months.</p><p>Neil held the woman in his arms tighter, kissing the crook of her neck.</p><p>“I’m here, baby. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” he kept whispering against her skin, his hands caressing her hair again and again.</p><p>“I… I can't, Neil.” Claire choked on her words. “I can’t anymore…”</p><p>“I know, Claire. I know. You’re gonna be okay. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”</p><p>Claire embraced him even harder. That was the issue then. The fear of losing him. The fear of losing the ones she loved. The fear of losing the ones she cared about.</p><p>Neil knew better than asking questions right now. Whichever the problem, they would have time to discuss it later. Claire needed this time to get it all out and he would stay by her side as long as she needed him to.</p><p>For long minutes, Neil kept rocking Claire softly. Her sobs slowly lessened in intensity, her body relaxing in his embrace. The surgeon didn’t release his hold until Claire’s breathing was deep and regular and her limbs soft. Exhausted by the intensity of her cries, Claire had fallen asleep in Neil’s arms, her hands clenched on his shirt.</p><p>Neil got to his feet and carried Claire to his bedroom. She didn’t wake up when he pulled the duvet on her and kissed her forehead. He crouched in front of her and looked at her face for a few seconds. He pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her once more. The woman he loved was in pain, mainly by what his injury had done to her. As he monitored her breathing and made sure she was sound asleep, he promised to the universe to do anything in his power to alleviate the pain she was facing. He wished nothing but to share it with her, to take that burden off her shoulders.<br/>
Tomorrow would be hard on her and he knew the discussion they would need to have would require some time and space.</p><p>Neil went back to the kitchen and poured Claire a tall glass of water. He brought it back to her nightstand along with two aspirins. She would need it when she would wake up with a disastrous dehydration-induced headache in the morning. He then texted Audrey to let her know that both Claire and he were taking two days off. Tomorrow, they would drive to the Coast. Carmel, maybe Big Sur. Not too far, but far enough that they could reflect on the past months and discuss it in a peaceful and quiet environment.</p><p>Neil didn’t sleep that night. He watched Claire for hours, reassuring her when he felt nightmares troubling her. She ended up sleeping in his arms for most of the night.</p><p>When she woke up, the first thing Neil saw on her face was a smile.</p><p> </p><p>~<br/>
V.</p><p>The day had started in a less than ideal way, with a former patient of theirs - Mr Jackson - coming back with complications. His operation had been a minimally invasive intervention and a fairly straight forward surgery. However, he had come back with fever, a dropping blood pressure and pain in his chest. Along with allegations of failed surgery and negligence.<br/>
Neil had been taken off the case as a precautionary measure and replaced by Dr Andrews to avoid any conflict of interest. All day long the team ran tests, double-checking the original procedure and suffering the intolerable behavior of the patient. Claire, who was ever praised for her empathy and patience, had been assigned to Mr Jackson. After one too many remarks about the alleged incompetence of Dr Melendez, Claire had lost it and fiercely confronted Mr Jackson with his own behavior. The outpatient protocol and subsequent treatment were very strict and every test was now pointing towards the patient’s own negligence. Claire’s burst had backlashed and she had been asked to leave the patient’s room before being taken off the case.</p><p>Neil and Claire had driven back together to Claire’s house. Not a word had been exchanged during the ride home and the tension had been building up to an intolerable level.<br/>
A few minutes after arriving home, both of them were ready to go for a run together, the best therapy to release their stress.</p><p>Neil stopped before Claire could pass the door.</p><p>“Do we need to talk about it before going for a run? I feel like we are trying to escape the issue, here.” Neil had proposed in a very calm voice, closing the door back.</p><p>“I did nothing wrong. I fought for what I believed was right. You had done nothing wrong and you very much know the patient didn’t follow the recovery protocol. This guy is just a jerk who didn’t take responsibility for his own problems and tried to blame you for it. There’s nothing to discuss.”</p><p>“You were taken off the case, Claire,” Neil disagreed firmly. “You went behind my back after I clearly told you to keep a cool head about this. You went straight to the patient and confronted him. You didn’t follow any of the protocols you were taught. You were reckless. You know better than that. You know how to protect your career better than that.” Neil’s frustration oozed out in every word he said, his tone gradually becoming firmer and louder.</p><p>“Are you being my attending right now or my boyfriend? Because I would expect my boyfriend to be supportive, not blaming me when I did nothing but supporting you in this case!” Claire snapped back at Neil.</p><p>“I don’t need saving anymore, Claire. I’m a perfectly capable surgeon who has very little to fear from my patients and their allegations. This is part of the job. Part of the job is also to listen to your hierarchy and follow directives.” Neil stated coldly.</p><p>“And hierarchy means you, right?” Claire asked.</p><p>“Yes, it does. At work, I expect you to follow my instructions and accept my decisions. We’ve talked about it before. I kicked you out of my service the last time you dared pulling something like this!”</p><p>“Dared? Dared! I can’t believe this, Neil! Do you truly think we are still the same people we were two years ago?”</p><p>“Yes! Yes, we are, Claire!”</p><p>“I can't believe this...”</p><p>“What? You can’t believe I’m still your attending and you're still my resident? Us being together changes nothing at the hospital, Claire. When it comes to work, I will always have the final word until you finish your residency.”</p><p>“But you know I was right! You simply cannot stand to be contradicted, Neil. You always have to be the smartest one in the room, no matter what!” Claire shouted back, knowing she was entering a very dangerous territory. One where the frustration of their hidden and complicated relationship was taking over her rationality.</p><p>“It’s my job, Claire!” Neil threw his hands in the air.</p><p>“Well, I wish it weren’t.” Claire answered quietly after a pause.</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“You’ve heard me. Right now, I truly wish you weren't my attending.”</p><p>“Then maybe we were wrong to become a couple in the first place.”</p><p>The words hit Claire brutally, leaving her speechless. She took a step back under the burn of his words, tears filling up her eyes rapidly.</p><p>“Claire…” Neil tried to reach for her but Claire was already backing away from him. She turned her heels and walked rapidly against her bedroom, the door slamming loudly behind her before Neil had time to even move. He knew better than going after her, knowing that she needed some space and that the apology he owed her would have to wait.<br/>
Violently angry at himself for hurting the person he loved the most, Neil left her house and went for a run to clear his head. He didn’t stop before his legs and lungs screamed for a break. Neil stopped, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. A single tear rolled on his cheek before he slowly headed back to Claire’s.</p><p> </p><p>As Neil watched Claire sleep, he was torn by guilt. The feeling was heavy in his chest and his thoughts wouldn’t come to a rest.</p><p>He was sitting on the floor in their bedroom - well, her bedroom - leaning against the wall. He couldn’t peel his eyes off Claire, whose sleeping form was facing him in the darkness of the night. Her fists were tight against the blanket, her body in fetal position. The tension hasn’t left her body even in sleep, like she was still reminiscing the evening.</p><p>They had argued before. Even before they were together. They both had a very strong temperament and they had never shied away from being honest with each other. But this argument had felt different. It had been loud, intense, both escalating the issue quickly.<br/>
And Neil’s words had hurt her. He knew he had been in the wrong. He should have never behaved the way he did, questioned her the way he did.</p><p>The fear of losing Claire was overwhelming. Neil knew he should get up to either wake her up or leave her house but he couldn’t move past this choice. The surgeon wasn’t afraid to ask Claire for her forgiveness. He was afraid of her not accepting his apologies. Not that he deserved it right now. He just hoped she would give him a chance to explain. To tell her that he was constantly afraid for her, for her career, for all the times she would have to prove herself even more because his presence by her side would cast a shadow on her own accomplishment. To tell her that this fear of his was only matching her fear of losing him. To tell her that he wanted to work on these together and possibly with her therapist if they needed to.</p><p>Neil breathed deeply and kept looking at Claire, his heart bursting of love for her. She was worth all the efforts in the world.<br/>
Silently, he stood up and headed to the leaving room where he would spend the night on the couch. They could make this work, together.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p>V + I.</p><p>Claire lifted her eyes off the book she was reading to admire the view that was sprawling in front of her. Nothing but blue sky, white sand and turquoise water. A soft breeze in the air. No one in sight. Even if she was to strain her ears, she could only hear the birds chirping. And Neil’s deep breathing.</p><p>He was on a lounge chair by her side, both hands crossed on his chest. In the shade of a palm tree. Fast asleep. Claire couldn’t blame him. This was the first vacation they had taken in more than 18 months. It had taken Neil some time to feel ready to leave his routine and the hospital. His familiar environment had helped him tremendously in his recovery. To the point where he had almost fallen into his bad habits. Once a workaholic… Almost. When Claire had surprised him with a two-week vacation to Ko Lanta, Neil had kissed her deeply, spinning her in the air.</p><p>“I’m sure you were right. It’s probably overrun by tourists now. But I thought you would like to check it out by yourself.” she had teased him when he had put her back on her feet.</p><p>“I love you, Claire Browne.” Neil had only answered before kissing her some more.</p><p>It was definitely overrun by tourists but Claire had booked them a small cottage on the beach, far enough from the resorts to give them a total sense of peace and isolation but close enough that they could always treat themselves with a very nice restaurant, may they want too. From the look of it, they had no chance to ever see any restaurant until they left. They had spent all their evenings at the cottage, Neil cooking for Claire, Claire in charge of the cocktails. Inevitably, the evening would lead to some more physical activity and some mind-blowing orgasms. Very little sleep though… Claire didn’t complain. She was so glad to get to see Neil in a very different environment. No responsibility, no hierarchy, no complication.<br/>
Just them. A man and a woman deeply in love.</p><p>Claire glanced towards Neil as his hand fell on his side. Claire chuckled at the sight of him. Hat half tipped on his forehead. Mouth ajar. Totally out of commission. That was the price to pay to keep her awake all night long. So napping it was. Her eyes trailed down his body where the scars were fading. They were still an angry violet but every passing day they turned a softer red. They were the physical evidence of what they had come through. Just like the scars, this near-death experience would never completely fade away but it was easier every day to learn to live with it.</p><p>In six months, Neil and Claire would finally be able to publicly announce their relationship. A formality if you asked all of their co-workers, who were neither blind or idiots. The fact that they were currently off at the same time may have been the biggest clue of all. Claire didn’t care anymore. Her career was important to her but being with Neil made her see things a bit differently. She would never give up on her professional dreams. She simply understood that they could exist along dreams of being in love and having a family.</p><p>Having a family. For so long she had thought she would never be strong enough to be a mother. Or a wife. Thanks to Neil, she could now imagine that future without associating it with fear or sorrow. They had gone a long way together. Neil had been there for her during therapy sessions and long nights of insomnia and nightmares. She had been there for him during his recovery and his traumatic stress coming back to the hospital. They had built their relationship on a very shaky ground at first but they had come out so much stronger. As individuals and as a couple.</p><p>Claire shook her head before taking a sip of her cocktail. Neil was nowhere close to waking up so she put her book back on her side table and walked towards the sea. The water was beautifully warm, yet refreshing enough. Claire swam towards the open sea. She reveled in the feeling of the water, the sensation of freedom, of openness in front of her. Ha! She wished they could live like this forever. But in a corner of her mind, she knew she was already missing the thrill of the operating room, the mental challenges of the diagnosis. This was simply a beautiful bubble of happiness they were allowed to enjoy for a little while. Claire stayed long enough to cool herself down before heading back to the shore.</p><p>Neil was still asleep, to Claire’s disarray. A wicked smile on her face, Claire moved silently towards him before hovering over his body. The cold droplets felt on Neil who jolted awake immediately. Claire couldn’t stop laughing at Neil’s confused face. It took him a few seconds to come back to his senses.</p><p>“You are so mean to me, Claire.” Neil moaned, a smile already forming on his face.</p><p>“I just felt neglected by my boyfriend.” Claire teased him back</p><p>“Excuse me but my girlfriend doesn’t let me sleep at night.” he laughed as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her on top of him.</p><p>Claire felt Neil’s tense as her wet body embraced his, dampening his shorts.</p><p>“Damn, you’re cold! ” he hissed before kissing her passionately.</p><p>Claire moaned under his demanding mouth. She rolled her hips against him when one of his hands found its way underneath her bikini, grabbing the plum flesh of her bottom.</p><p>“Am I now?” she teased him before his hand grabbed the back of her head to bring her lips back to his. Both of them were very good at this game. Too good for their own sanity. Or the respect of their own privacy.</p><p>“I think we should head back to the bungalow.” Claire proposed. Both of them were panting and on a very dangerous slippery slope.</p><p>“Lead the way, my love.” Neil winked at her.</p><p>As Neil and Claire headed back towards their bedroom, one thing was certain : both of them were now very, very awake.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you guys have enjoyed this as much as I loved writing it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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